OK, this is going to sound weird, but I've figured out why John McCain's new "throw everything including the kitchen sink at Obama" campaign struck me with such deja-vu. I've seen this scenario before...

In Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan.

I know, I know, but stay with me here...







Khan is an older man, once flush with power and a will to dominate who's been driven insane by his need for vengeance and revenge on the man who's robbed him of what he sees as his just reward.  OK...so, that's McCain.














So, here comes this younger, more talented guy who's basically taken Khan/McCain's Superhuman self-image and run circles around it.  Khan's a genetically engineered superhuman.  But this young punk's beaten him.  BAD.  Because the good Captain is more evolved, more experienced in the modern world, and understands how things work in the future.  So...Barack Obama is Captain James T. Kirk.  






So, using that analogy, the McCain campaign is the USS Reliant and the Obama campaign is the USS Enterprise.  They fight, and the Enterprise is roughed up quite a bit by the Reliant/McCain sneak attack.  But then they find the Mutara Nebula, which in our case means the Financial Market Nightmare of October 2008 (October Surprise!).  Shields are useless, sensors won't function. It's really scary and dark and complicated and who the hell knows how to get out of the damn thing.  So...Khan starts fumbling around the nebula.  But Kirk's got Spock (who's probably David Axelrod) who points out that Khan's not too good at 3-dimensional thought (read, complex policy analysis and critical thinking skills).  So the Enterprise/Obama lowers down and waits for the Reliant/McCain to fly blindly overhead, because Kirk/Obama CAN think 3-dimensionally.



So, the Reliant/McCain flies over trying to figure out what the hell to do, then suddenly the Enterprise/Obama pops up from behind and starts firing everything they've got.

• Your "suspended campaign" stunt crap didn't help out at all! (BOOM! There goes the Reliant's aft torpedo launcher.)
• Your bailout strategy lets CEOs get GOLDEN FRIGGIN PARACHUTES (Wham! The Reliant's port warp nacelle gets reamed all the way hollow.)
• You don't have an economic plan AT ALL, you DOLT! (KABLAMMO!  The reamed out warp nacelle gets blown CLEAN OFF THE SHIP.)

So, after the Economy Nebula and the Kirk/Obama attack have done their work, Khan/McCain's pretty much dead in space.  In fact, his face has been pretty much burned off.  Khan's beaten, and he knows it.  Everyone around him is pretty much dead (see ya later Republican Senate candidates!) and his ONLY chance of taking out his hated enemy is by using his ultimate weapon, the Genesis Device.  It'll kill him too, in fact, it'll pretty much wreck the entire joint for everybody.  (Read: Unstable Genesis Planet = a really seriously fucked up USA if McCain and Palin get in charge.) But he's GOTTA KILL KIRK because he hates him so fuckin' much.  So, screw it.  Flip the switch, turn on the Doomsday Weapon.  Reverend Wright starts coming back out into the public discourse.  "For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee..."  William Ayers comes out.  Palin (she doesn't have a parallel in Star Trek, because the Trek women are at least intelligent in the show) starts talking about Obama as a terrorist.  Everything gets really nasty, radiation starts spilling out, and we've gotta get the warp drive back online or this shit will kill us all.  William Ayers is the McCain's campaign's Genesis Device. 



But here's the good news.  The Obama/Enterprise is at full power.  Spock doesn't have to sacrifice himself to save the campaign, and the Obamaprise warps out to safety while the McCain/Reliant blows up in the coldness of space.  WOOHOO! 

Tired, but vindicated, Admiral Kirk feels rejuvenated and ready to face the challenges ahead.  He feels...YOUNG. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce President Barack Hussein Obama, victor of the Battle of the Mutara Nebula.